The Power of Positive Affirmations: Why the Words We Speak to Ourselves Matter

Have you ever had an otherwise wonderful day, only to find yourself lying in bed thinking about he one negative thing someone said to you?

Ten people can compliment us, but somehow it’s criticism that sticks.

Why do we do that?

Psychologists have long studied something often referred to as a negativity bias- our tendency to pay particular attention to information we perceive as negative or threatening. From a survival standpoint, that makes some sense. Our brains need to recognize potential danger and learn from experiences that may hurt us.

Something that may have helped humans recognize danger isn’t necessarily what we want running unchecked in our daily lives.

The good news is we are not powerless over the conversation happening inside our own minds.

Words Have Energy

I remember being told that and have been saying it for years- that words have energy.

I don’t mean that sentence to magically cure an illness or difficult season you are in. I mean something much more practical.

Think about what words can do.

A doctor’s words can frighten or reassure us. A parent’s words can stay with a child for decades (positive or negative). A cruel comment can change someone’s entire day…or longer. A few words of encouragement can give someone the confidence to try again.

And the words we repeatedly speak to ourselves matter, too.

Our minds and bodies aren’t separate systems. Stress, emotions, and perception can create measurable physiological responses in the body. Research into self-affirmation has even found differences in stress responses, including cortisol, when people reflect on personally meaningful values.

So perhaps we should pay attention to the words we allow to become the soundtrack of our lives.

What Is a Positive Affirmation?

At its simplest, an affirmation is an intentional statement that reminds us of something we want to remember about ourselves, our values, our abilities, or the direction in which we are trying to grow.

There is an important distinction here- positive affirmation is not pretending.

It’s not that everything is wonderful, nothing bad happens, rainbows and unicorns. It’s not, “If I think positively, all my problems will disappear.” Life doesn’t work that way, and faith doesn’t deny reality either.

For me, affirmation is much more about being intentional about what truth gets the loudest voice.

Instead of: “I can’t handle this”, you start declaring, “This is difficult, but I can take the next step.”

Instead of “Everything is falling apart”, perhaps it’s “I don’t know how everything will work out yet, but I don’t have to solve everything today”

For those of us whose faith is an important part of our lives: “God is with me, making a way when I can’t see a way, and working all things out for my good.”

That is not pretending the problem doesn’t exist, but projecting a positive mental energy toward the challenges.

What Does the Research Say?

Self-affirmation has been studied for years, particularly related to stress, health behaviors, academic performance, and how people respond when information feels threatening to their sense of self.

More recent research has continued to find modest benefits for several measures of well-being.

But here's something I find especially important: an affirmation needs to have meaning to the person saying it.

Researchers have found that extremely positive statements can sometimes make people feel worse when those statements are so far removed from what they currently believe about themselves that their mind immediately argues back.

That makes sense to me.

If someone is struggling deeply with their self-worth, standing in front of a mirror and saying, “I am the most amazing person in the world!” may not feel empowering at all.

Maybe today's affirmation needs to be:

I am learning to see value in myself.

That's believable.

And tomorrow we build from there.

30 Affirmations to Try

You don't have to use someone else's words. In fact, I encourage you to choose or create statements that fit your own life, faith and circumstances.

Here are some places to begin:

1. I am blessed.
2. I am confident and capable.
3. I believe in myself and trust the wisdom I have gained.
4. I am resilient, strong and brave.
5. I am learning and growing every day.
6. I can do difficult things.
7. I am worthy of kindness—including kindness from myself.
8. I choose to notice what is good today.
9. I am grateful for the people who love and support me.
10. I can make a positive difference in someone else's life.
11. I am a capable learner.
12. I don't need everyone's approval to know my worth.
13. I can forgive others without allowing unhealthy behavior to control my life.
14. I can forgive myself for being imperfect.
15. I will speak kindly to the person I see in the mirror.
16. I can face today's challenges one step at a time.
17. I have survived difficult days before.
18. I can trust myself to make thoughtful decisions.
19. I am allowed to grow and change.
20. I choose relationships that encourage what is good in me.
21. I can learn from mistakes without defining myself by them.
22. I will not allow one difficult moment to define my entire day.
23. I am becoming the person I was created to be.
24. I have something valuable to contribute.
25. I can choose my response even when I cannot choose my circumstances.
26. I am worthy of rest as well as productivity.
27. I am grateful for what my body allows me to do today.
28. I will give myself the same grace I readily give to others.
29. I am a blessing to others.
30. I am enough.

And sometimes the affirmation I need most is simply:

God is still here. I am not walking through this alone.

Make Your Words Personal

There is no perfect list.

Write your own.

Put one on your bathroom mirror.

Leave one beside your coffee maker.

Set a reminder on your phone.

Write one at the top of your journal.

Pair one with a Scripture that speaks to something you're working through.

And when you catch yourself repeating something negative about yourself, stop for a moment and ask:

Would I speak this way to someone I love?

If the answer is no, perhaps it's time to reconsider how you're speaking to yourself.

We spend our lives caring for our bodies, our homes, our families and the people around us. Caring for ourselves also means paying attention to what we're allowing to take root in our minds.

Words matter.

Choose yours with intention.

And give yourself a little grace along the way.

You are valuable. You are loved. And I'm glad you're here.